Saturday, January 5, 2008

People who sabotage our weight loss

So, I've lost 35 pounds since April. Yay me. I gained back a few during this holiday season, but I'm positive I can turn that around. 'Nuff said on that.

Twice during the holiday season people commented to me about what I was eating. As in, "You shouldn't be eating that, should you?" It took everything in me not to really lash out. The very people who said such things (and they were almost identical statements, at different times), have been very critical of me over the years for being overweight. One recently told me I shouldn't get rid of my fat clothes, since I'll be in them again!

The clincher here: Both people are in my FAMILY. Not my children or husband - they have been more than supportive, just so ya know. But not an aunt, uncle, cousin - so, you've narrowed it down, right?! And the sick part: I'm ashamed of who said it, so I'm not even going to get any more specific.

Can I just make a semi-public (for all my two or so readers) statement here? If you know someone who is struggling with their weight, please never comment on what they're eating unless they've asked you to do so. Overeating is a heart issue - it's not about the food. Pointing out what you think they should and shouldn't be eating is fruitless, and in my case, makes me want to eat even more! I haven't figured that out yet, but I'll let you know if I do. :-)

One of the people who made the comment was told, in no uncertain terms, that those comments are not welcome and will not be taken kindly ever again. The other is pretty much impossible to talk to about such things. Gearhead will, however, be talking to said person if he ever overhears anything. He was not happy when I told him what was said.

My hands are shaking as I type this. For the first time in my life, I'm not willing to let anyone get between me and my health goals. And that's the thing, isn't it? I can't let the stupid comments of others affect my ultimate goal.

Rant over. Thank you for "listening."

9 comments:

Gombojav Tribe said...

I'm proud of you Claire!

Christine said...

Great rant - might even print that one out and post it on the fridge for family to see. :)))

ClaireBoe said...

Thanks, both of you! I don't know why it struck me to write that. It happened weeks ago, and I've been mulling it over now and then. I think, in my 40s, I'm finally getting a backbone! Imagine!

Mrs. C said...

What a jerk. I don't think I'd hang out with that person if I had a choice. Why couldn't they just tell you you looked nice and then SHUT UP??!

I'm on the opposite end right now though and have gained literally 100 pounds. 100 pounds is a lot, just so ya know. It's sad when I walk into the grocery store or something and I see someone I "know," but they don't recognize me. So I pretend I don't know them either. I don't want anyone to blurt out the words, "What HAPPENED to you??!" or worse, not know who I am at all.

ClaireBoe said...

Yeah, "jerk" is one of the nicer terms for said person. I'm trying very hard to be Christian about this (he's an unbeliever). It's difficult when it hurts so much.

I'm sorry you're struggling with your weight. I know how hard it is. I'm praying for you.

Lady T said...

i understand this. really. i haven't had too many negative comments lately, but when i first started and tentatively told some family about it, the doubt was thick in their eyes. some even snickered. after that i decided to keep it all to myself and just let them see the results.

this is the primary reason why i am not announcing my new motivation to get back on track for the wedding. i'll just let others see my results. they can't refute results.

Lady T said...

i'm posting this part seperately bc this is more personal and i dont see an email address for you on the main page.
~~~~~~~~
Thanks so much for that tip. dont worry! we are way ahead of you! lol.

my dad's a pastor so premarital counseling is no strange beast to me. actually, LR and i have been slowly but surely making our way through Drs Parrot Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts series. Excellent stuff that has spurred amazing conversations bw us(and debunked a few myths we were holding holding about marriage.)we now have a realistic idea of what is ahead of us and we continue to pray daily. i feel good that we have spent so much time investing in our future marriage. and love that we did so even befor ethe official proposal!

so many people get swept up in preparing for the wedding losing sight of the marriage. i soooo understand how that happens now. I always said that i would keep a level head about me and focus on what was "important". i can see now just how difficult that is going to be.

i only consider faith based relationship materials and *listen* to like minded individuals when it comes to getting advice.

we've got our hearts set on the marriage. and i look forward to transitioning from being single. i also continue to pray that God reveal to me how to be a wife to my future husband. I've been studying Proverbs 31 loosely off and on thruout this past year in conjunction with other studies, but i'm gonna turn the fire up on that one....

do you have any resources you would recommened? I'm a big fan of www.Growthtrac.com, and a few other sites that are associated with them. If you know of others, let me know!

Thanks for your concern. it is so sweet. ;) and made me smile. ;)

ClaireBoe said...

LadyT: I'll go get an email addy in my profile. I didn't realize I hadn't done that!

I remember reading a book called "His Needs, Her Needs." Good stuff. Also, for you, "Created to Be His Helpmeet" by Debi Pearl. Kinda radical for us modern-day women, but really powerful. And here's one that you wouldn't expect: "The Five Love Languages." It's not Christian, but it literally changed (and possibly saved) my marriage a few years ago after the Gearhead read it. A light went on, if you will.

If you need authors for the two that I don't know off the top of my head, I can look those up.

Sniz said...

Claire, I'd say you have more than two readers from the comments here!

I am so impressed that you've lost 35 pounds since April. We all hear that losing weight slowly is the best, healthiest way to do it, but most people (Ok, me) get too impatient and give up quickly. I can't believe anyone would say that to you. I'd never say that to anyone and I hope no one would say it to me. My husband would be mad too! Just hang in there, sweetie. It's a marathon, not a sprint, right? (I remind myself of that all the time too).

BTW, you've been tagged over at my place.

What are you thinking about Tw