Thursday, May 29, 2008


I think I hit my limit tonight.

You have probably gathered that my kids are named "The Prince" and "The Princess" out of a little bit of disgust on my part. I am thoroughly disgusted tonight. I can't even tell you why. I'm too embarrassed. But I will say, I need prayer, and lots of it.

Speaking of prayer: I pray a lot. All the time. I've fallen off the wagon as far as Bible reading and fellowship. I have felt isolated for a long time. Can't put my finger on the cause; I do know it's not God's fault. I went wrong somewhere, and now I have to make my way back. I'm so glad He's forgiving.

I know this sounds random.

If I don't write stuff down, it bounces around my head. I'm just remembering that I used to journal, and it helped to get my head straight. It's 1:00 a.m. I can't sleep for the stomach ache I have, caused by anxiety about my home life.

Thanks for reading, if you got this far. I'll be back to myself soon. Hopefully, an improved me, who actually feels like she's doing God's will. Yeah, that would be nice.

You know what got me on this bumming path today? A very young man (mid-20s) went swimming yesterday morning in a fitness pool. He died in that pool. No one yet knows why. This same man has a wife and two-year-old son. His wife is 7 months pregnant with a boy. She is so distraught that she is in the hospital with premature labor.

This young man returned from Iraq last August. He survived 18 months there as a helicopter pilot (medi-vac, I think). He was constantly shot at. We prayed for his safety all the time. And he survived.

I don't understand. I can't imagine. I'm so sad...and I've never met this family. I've met the young man's brother and his family. They are wonderful, God-loving people. Why?

My own problems pale in comparison. And yet, it drove home a sad truth; I'm not living up to my potential, and I'm not encouraging my kids to, either. I have work to do.


Marilyn@Mixed Bouquet said...

Well, it's 3:44AM here in TX and I woke up with a stomach ache. It's some anxiety that's farm-related, I'm sure. However, it could be that the Lord wanted me to pray for you. I did that right before typing this.

I hope you can relax and get back to sleep. I pray that your days will be brighter as you get back into His word.

God bless!

Marilyn@Mixed Bouquet said...

Oh, I'll be praying for the family who lost their husband and dad. I can't imagine their pain. :(

Alicia said...

I know I don't know you personally but I hurt for you in the place you are. God's goal is always the same with us, that being an intimate relationship. Many times he uses dark times to strip us of all other satisfactions so we clearly see our need for Him alone. I will pray for the young family now in great saddness. Also for you, that your joy would return in the salvation of our God. He never dissapoints when we come to Him. Things around us don't always get better as if by magic, but He promises us Joy in the midst of trails. Joy that shows us how these things are conforming us to the image of Christ... our main goal. Because he is accomplishing that work, we can rejoice in darkness.
In His Love,

Gombojav Tribe said...

I talked to Rebekah and found out about this man and his family. I'm so sorry. My heart goes out to you all. May the Holy Spirit bring peace.


eally said...

Hello my sweet bloggie friend...don't despair...claim Romans 8:28!
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him who have been called according to his purpose."

Romans 8:31
"What then shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?"

Pick yourself up...Dust yourself off...start all over again. You can do it!

Toni said...

Thankfully, He always meets us right where we're at. Just as we are. And He knows what we need, even when we don't and/or before we ask. Be encouraged. The Father loves you and so do we.
p.s. As you know, I can relate to the sadness you're feeling over this young man dying. I didn't mention it in my post (it was on the video link though) but a highschool boy was at fault in the accident that claimed my cousin's life. He died too and was only 18. :(

Lysa TerKeurst said...

Dear Claire...
Thanks for visiting my blog. I am praying for you and that young man's family.

So sad... begging God for comfort.

On a lighter note, I am two days without Diet Pepsi. I have a headache... but I am pressing on.

Sniz said...

Oh my goodness. This is awful. I just don't know what to say. I will be praying.